Daddy.
I am unable to sit and talk with you face to face, yet, since you went to Heaven 5 years past. But, I miss you.
Horribly.
I realize that you know now what has been going on with me, and with my family, since you have a front row seat up there. But, not having you here to talk with about it is so hard.
Dad, I'm tired. I am terribly tired of feeling drained out and unplugged every moment I'm awake. It's like a creeping feeling that comes over me as I wake up. Fist, I'm all excited fo the day, then the thought of rolling over (and the pain)and getting up (with more pain) sets in and I want to get back under the covers forever.
I am only 45. I have so many years ahead of me here, and yet I think, "Will every day be like today, and yesterday, and the day before?"
The stress it's putting on John, having to watch me like this every day, is crushing him. He won't talk about i, but I see it. And I feel it. We both feel the weight of me.
If you were here, I could talk to you and get strength from you. I worshiped you, you were my best friend- even in hard times,
I could talk to you about my inability to function as a part of this family. How Kati cooks almost every meal, carries her schoolwork, the house and everything else. So much for someone so young. It's not right. But, when I cannot basically get out of bed to help, what else can she do?
I need a miracle. I need a kidney. I need my life back.
This is not the way it's supposed to be.
Could you talk to God for me?
Maybe He will listen to my daddy.
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