Well.
This has been quite a week. I do believe that from here on, I won't announce to the world I'm taking time off to rest. I mean, it's like yelling to the heavens ... "HEY! Here I am! Got some lightning you don't know what to do with?!"
And God says "hehe".
Y'all know that Monday night we spent our quota of time at the Emergency Room. The result was a raging case of cellulitis, a prescription was for bed rest, feet up for a week. Oh, and antibiotics. Yeah! more pills :)
We clear the recliner, grab the remote and start in with the TV watching. Thank goodness for back to back to back to back episodes of various Law and Order franchise shows. Basically, at any given time 24/7 one of four networks is playing a Law and Order show. WooHoo! Armchair crime solving. A personal favorite pastime. With a little bit of SpongeBob and FairtlyOddParents thrown in for good measure, it's stacking up to be a fairly non-productive week.
Tuesday and Wednesday drag slowly on and on passes, and we've also worn out all three new selections from our NetFlix account. (Mary, have I told you just how much I love you?!)
Now, before I go on, let's get a little boring, but needed background. Being on home peritoneal dialysis basically means that I have a 2 foot tube in my belly. About 8 inches of that sticks out next to my belly button. Attractive, I know. But wait! It's better! Attached to that tube is a connector and then another foot or so of tubing. It all hangs about to my knees. Sexy, sexy. Now, at night ... I connect to another tube about 20 feet long that ties me to a machine. Whew.
Fast forward to 7am Thursday morning.
I roll over in bed, and hear a pop. A loud pop. And, the bed is wet. For the first time is 15 months, the external adapter thing had popped off and the whole thing in still attached to the machine. All I have left is the foot coming out o'me.
At that moment, the Keystone Cops sets in. I jump up out of bed, screaming for John (whose all of 2 feet away from me) to grab a clamp. I'm squeezing the end shut with my fingers and John's not waking up. So, I scream and scream and he finally wakes up. In the meantime, I'm running through my head what I'm supposed to do when this happens. The first thing in my head is "stop, drop and roll."
Yeah, I'm a barrel of information at 7 in the morning. Seriously.
John stumbles around the living room and finds the clamps. We clean up the pool of yuck all over the bed and carpet, and stumble off to call the nurse. We end running all over town getting the supplies we need from the other dialysis center up, then go to the ER where they are supposed to treat me for repair and contamination.
Key word: Supposed.
Yeah- an hour, three nurses, an ER admin and several phone calls later- they won't treat me. I'm told to go to Phoenix. While all this is happening, I'm freaked out because I"m contaminated and the last thing on earth I want is another case of peritonitis. In my head, I've contracted it, died from it and my family is retaining attorneys. Basically, I'm taking down names and ready to kick some medical hiney. They say every case of peritonitis cuts your changes of survival.
John comes back to pick me up, and we head to Phoenix. I slept most of the way, due to the extreme nausea the antibiotics is causing me. I love that man. A whole lot.
Bottom line, I got repaired and a sample taken for peritonitis testing. They treated me as if I had it, just in case. Then comes the allergic reaction to the meds :)
I mean, come on. It's me. Did you expect anything less?
Rapid heartbeat, itching all over, flushed and sweating. It was awesome! I mean- seriously, better to get it all out in one week right?
It did finally calm down, right about when she started talking about calling 911 and sending me in a $5000.00 ambulance ride to the hospital.
Which was literally right across the street.
Shock and awe is a great way to relieve allergic reactions.
Truly.
After everyone was cool with us driving home, we finished the last leg of our 15 hour adventure into heck and back. I love that man. A whole lot.
Now, here's the icing on the cake! The morale of the story! The end all be all! The round peg in the square hole!
I have peritonitis!
Yup! Nurse called and I got it. Like a bad penny, it just won't go away and leave me alone.
So. We're back to more heavy meds, more bed rest, planning for the pain to hit anytime now. (It takes 24-48 hours for it to hit, from what she says).
Yep.
So.
I'm thinking.
I'll say it loud, I'll say it proud.
NEXT WEEK I'M CLIMBING MT. EVEREST. AND SWIMMING THE NILE. AND CONQUERING THE AMAZON. AND GETTING ELECTROLYSIS.
There.
That should ensure me a worry free week.
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