This past week has been one of transition, in many ways.
I transitioned my job to a new manager to be able to go out on disability. The paperwork was filled out- "has a condition that can only result in death". That hurt. At least two of my employees have called to go through the process to see if they can donate a kidney. Overwhelming. Indescribable. Unbelievable. However, we still have a long way to go before this process is over.
In giving up my job, I started to fully give up on life overall. The reality is, this could be my last Thanksgiving, last Christmas. I may only see my kids turn 13 and 14. I thought about what the things are I want to do before I go. Things like take a cruise through Alaska, or take the kids to DisneyWorld. Things we will never afford to do. I thought about the $45K it has cost to keep me alive since May, just May. Where could that money be better spent on the kids. You know, I wallowed.
Then, I heard this.
Imagine this
I get a phone call from Regis
He says "Do you want to be a millionaire?"
They put me on a show and I win with two lifelines to spare
Picture this I act like nothing ever happened
and bury all the money in a coffee can
Well, I've been given more than Regis ever gave away
I was a dead man who was called to come out of my grave
I think it's time for makin' some noise
Wake the neighbors
Get the word out
Come on, crank up the music, climb a mountain and shout
This is life we've been given, made to be lived out So, la, la, la, la, live out loud
Think about this
Try to keep a bird from singing afterit's soared up in the sky
Give the sun a cloudless day and tellit not to shine
Think about this
If we really have been given the giftof life that will never end
And if we have been filled with living hope,
We're gonna overflow
And if God's love is burning in ourhearts, we're gonna glow
There's just no way to keep it in
Wake the neighbors
Get the word out
Come on, crank up the music, climb a mountain and shout
This is life we've been given, made to be lived out So, la, la, la, la, live out loud
-Steven Curtis Chapman
And I realized. This may be the last holiday I have with my family. Imay never see them graduate or hold my grandchildren That is true. But, rather than think about what trauma that is possible, I'm making lists of things I could do to make this special for the kids and hubby. Lasting memories.
I have my daughter coming home at Christmas to homeschool, and she is so excited. We get to volunteer together. Precious, precious times.
This is not about me, but about the things that God can do- will do- through this.
I invite each of you to approach each day like it is your last.
Hug your kids.
Pick your battles.
Share some joy with a stranger.
Make an impact for God.
Take a stand.
Live. Out. Loud.
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